3.30.2011

Restoring my "Hard Drive"

     Once in a while one of "those days" come along.  Monday dawned, bright and sunny... I went through my morning cold ritual of nose-blowing, pill-swallowing and lozenge-tasting, published an afore-written post, and settled down to an hour of blog-hopping.  Not long after I noticed a trend in Monday's addressed subjects (many having to do with living in the moment), my screen went black.  I thought it was a temporary adjustment before my data came back as had happened before, but this time was different.  It stayed black.  Then a screen reminiscent of when computers were first invented popped up with the words "startup repair was unable to repair this computer automatically" written at the top.

     That was the beginning of many hours' worth of futile attempts to breathe life into a seemingly dead machine.  I restored it to four different dates to no avail and after nineteen tries and much research with no solution to the problem, I gave up.  It had crashed for good.  Thankfully, because of three similar experiences within a year's time, I had most of my files backed up and saved.  Each time one of those three similar experiences happened... I panicked.  I was edgy until it was fixed again.  The third time, I really felt ridiculous for getting so upset about a computer-an object- and I asked God to take away such a silly attachment.  And you know something?  He must have.  Because this fourth time- when it really crashed, not just played dead- I felt no panic rise.  It's just a thing.  And I was glad to be able to finally put it in its proper perspective.

      I wondered if it could be my hard drive malfunctioning, but it turned out to simply be the operating system and thanks to a little thing called Toshiba Recovery Wizard, I'm back online.  It's just as if the laptop was brand new again... all of my customizations, files, programs and preferences... ppfftt.  But slowly, it's beginning to take on a familiar appearance.  And a few good things came out of it.  What clutter I had is gone.  Files I held onto but didn't really need are no longer taking up space on my hard drive.  My favorites are gone; my setting back to default.

     And I thought... wouldn't it be something if we could reprogram ourselves?  Take ourselves right back to factory settings?  Imagine if all of the good we accumulated along the way had been "saved" on a back up drive, so that we would have lost nothing but what was simply cluttering up our lives, stealing our joy, and robbing us of our peace?

     Imagine being taken back to the day when we were "born again."  No worries dragging us down, no needlessly accumulated "files" cluttering up our minds and hearts... everything new... fresh.  A whole new beginning.

     Can it happen?  In a way, it can!  When we "crash" like my computer did, we can hold onto the hope and rest in the knowledge that we are "saved."  It may look dark for a time, but because we have the "good files" in our heart, mind and soul, we're going to make it through the difficult times.  Sometimes we are stripped down to nothing and have to stand on what little faith remains, rebuilding as we go, "restoring" our joy.

     When David said "'restore' unto me the joy of thy salvation" (Psalm 51:12) he was asking for a restoration of something he previously had... and lost.  And because he had access to his "saved files" and he knew where and how- and Who to turn to- to find joy again, he was able to obtain that restoration.

     Is a "crash" to be feared, like I used to fear my computers' crash?  Not if you're "saved!"  If it's just your operating system (mental clutter) that's malfunctioning, but your hard drive (your soul) is in good condition, restoration is coming... one day at a time.

h. rae

7 comments:

  1. Praise the Lord, I got saved when I was 7 and made had doubts when I was 14. I got assurance of my salvation then at 14. My husband told me, when I was doubting God's ability to do something, "you can trust God with your eternal security yet you doubt He can do this small thing here on earth. That was an eye opener for the lack of faith I can have from day to day in life's "little crashes".

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  2. Thank you for stopping by my blog. And what a beautiful blog you have.

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  3. Tammy,

    I received the Holy Ghost when I was 6 years old. Almost the same age.

    Your husband certainly knew how to put things in perspective! Wow! Thanks so much for sharing a bit of yourself.

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  4. h.rae,
    Such a pretty blog and design.
    It's so easy to get caught up in this world and of this world and then when faced with a "crash" we spiral downwards very quickly.
    Thankfully, God knows this of our nature and is here for a "reboot" as often as needed.
    Have a beautiful day and thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog.
    Love, Kristin

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  5. h rae. I just loved this post.. its so easy to relate to the imagery of the computer hard drive. Very inspiring.. thank you!

    Love & Blessings

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  6. Kristin,

    Many thanks to you! Love your "reboot" theory. It makes a nice addition to this post!

    Lisa Maria,

    I was hoping the message would be clear and not sound too silly. Thanks for the confirmation!

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  7. Great job with this post! I freak over computer problems. I feel very inadequate. It is a miracle that I have my own blog! LOL!

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